Tne what now?

So I've been lightheaded all weekend, which gets worse when I lean down or turn my head while lying down.

WedMD (which Indie Rocker actually encouraged me to check for once) tells me that it's a sympton of everything from anemia to a heart attack. Awesome.

So I'll be going to the doctor this week. I would have gone to the ER, but after slicing my finger open a few months ago, I have no interest in dealing with OHSU again anytime soon!

No quote--can't think straight.

Lost in Translation, again

So it seems that I can never seem to keep up the blog, even when I say I'm going to. Oh well. I'm going to need a venting space these days, though.

I am very seriously ramping up the job search now, because things have fallen into place at work that make it abundantly obvious that this is a short-term gig at best.

I'm not concerned about my job security, but I am concerned about my sanity at my job. I asked for a promotion in my last last review that, based on merit, I should have already gotten. However, I recently discovered that any promotion will be based on arbitrary criteria and most likely won't come with a raise.

Armed with that information, I am quite motivated to get a move on, especially in light of my recent scholastic achievement. I intend to pick up my diploma next week, enjoy a celebratory happy hour with friends, and starting doggedly pursuing the next chapter in my professional life. Cheers!

Quote of the Day: "The thing about Jim is... when he's excited about something- like the Office Olympics- he gets really into it and he does a really great job. But the problem with Jim is that he works here so... that hardly ever happens." Pam Beesley (Jenna Fischer), The Office.

Whelmed?

It's funny, maybe even ironic, that I feel like I'm more disorganized and flaky now that I'm done with school than I was when I had class twice a week.

It's almost like I had such a set schedule that I knew exactly when I had time to do things, and when I didn't, and could plan accordingly. Suddenly, I now have to manage my own time all of the time, and it's harder than I originally thought. I think I just expected it to be exactly the same as before I started school, but the more I think about it, nothing's the same.

I mean, I had already moved in with Indie Rocker and we'd already gotten The Munchkin, but for some reason, this still feels different. I don't think the marriage part is the reason; I just think the situation feels different, and I can't put my finger on it.

Either way, I think having a week to myself after my fab vacation will help me get my act together and feel a little less overwhelmed. Maybe I'll just get to whelmed, which would be OK with me.

Quote of the Day: Chastity: "I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?"
Bianca: "I think you can in Europe." Gabrielle Union and Larisa Oleynik, 10 Things I Hate About You.

And a rovin' a rovin' a rovin' I'll go

...for a pair of brown eyes. Indie Rocker and I checked out The Pogues last night in Portland, which was both totally awesome, and a little depressing at the same time. The Pogues are famous for two things: 1) being the original, and seminal Irish punk band, and 2) Shane MacGowan. Shane MacGowan is notorious for being so drunk that he often either wouldn't or couldn't make it on stage for the band's shows. It's said that he drank to kill the pain of having bad teeth, which for whatever reason sounded better when I read it than when I just typed it.

Long story short, the concert was great because the band was truly brilliant, but their collective brilliance made Shane's drunken messiness that much more apparent. Aside from his total lack of enunciation and severely slurred non sequiturs to the crowd between songs, the crowd could tell that the band had pretty much had it with Shane, and was just sucking it up for one last hurrah.

Which is kind of too bad, considering that the rest of the band is a group of seriously talented musicians who could clearly pull off amazing shows if they weren't saddled with an iconic, albeit hopelessly alcoholic lead singer. Spider Stacy, the tin whistle player and occasional lead singer, seemed both bemused and just plain over it with Shane all night, and was the only member of the band with the spotlight on him, a fact that Indie Rocker and I both noticed.

They played a wide variety of their hits, from "A Pair of Brown Eyes" and "Dirty Old Town" to "Tuesday Morning," sung by Stacy, and "Sunny Side of the Street." They skipped "Fairytale of New York," which was kind of a relief, actually. I wasn't sure how they could or would pull that off, and I'm glad that they didn't. Mostly because I wasn't forced to listen to Shane slur through one of my all-time favorite songs.

Either way, I'm glad that I saw the show, I knew I wouldn't be able to hear today(sorry, Marshall! I forgot the earplugs), and I definitely had a memorable experience.

Quote of the Day: "Some cursed, some prayed, some prayed then cursed/Then prayed and bled some more/And the only thing that I could see/Was a pair of brown eyes that was looking at me." A Pair of Brown Eyes, The Pogues.

Trying to be better

I'm trying to be better about updating this thing, but being sick all week pretty much made that impossible, and made me cranky to boot. Seriously, head colds and being stuck in bed? Lame.

I am very excited for a mellow weekend, though. I'm looking forward to going to the cross race on Sunday, although unless I can breathe through my nose by then, I'm just going to be a spectator. I'm excited for maybe seeing a movie, the football game on Saturday, and general weekend-y type stuff.

It's weird to be so excited to just chill. I think now that I'm done with school, I'm frantically trying to jam things into my schedule to keep myself busy, but what I really need to be doing is enjoying the downtime before I get truly busy again. So I'm going to start this weekend.

Getting sick does occasionally help force things into perspective for me, whether I like it or not.

No quote--congestion kills the brain cells, apparently.

Dashboard Confessional.

While I absolutely detest the band for whom this post is named, it seemed apropos. I am feeling a bit whiny and emo this week. It's been a long, weird, and dramatic week.

First, I've been dealing with the deep embarrassment of getting drunk at the wedding I went to last weekend. I had told myself several times over that I wasn't going to overdo it, drank plenty of water and ate tons of food, and still managed to get completely obliterated.

I am far, far too old for this shit. I don't think I'm an alcoholic or anything, but I do think I run into control issues in certain scenarios, and I need to deal with that ASAP. I'm going to be around a bunch of drinking this weekend, and it's the perfect opportunity to start taking a huge step back and thinking very carefully about how much I imbibe. I tend to get carried away having fun, lose track of how many drinks I've already had, and shortly thereafter lose the ability to monitor myself. It sucks on a number of levels, and it's totally preventable. So I'm going to start preventing it. I mean, this isn't rocket science here.

Second, the Munchkin has been sick all week, which has been a serious strain on both my and Indie Rocker's sleep schedules and collective patience. We had to get up every three hours to let her out the other night, give her a bath, and clean half of the house. I think we've both finally come to terms with the fact that our dog has a seriously sensitive stomach and that we just need to only feed her a severely limited diet. All the time, or we will suffer the consequences.

Lastly, Indie Rocker and I have had some tough conversations this week that have been painful, but have ultimately helped our relationship. I talked to my dad this week and he reminded me that even the most idyllic-looking relationships can have their own turmoil and that turmoil isn't necessarily a bad thing if both people understand why it exists and can communicate how to solve the problem.

I really do realize that the bulk of my and Indie Rocker's issues stem from miscommunication on both sides. As much as I would like to think I am the world's best communicator, I am not, actually, and could use work just like the next person. That's not always an easy thing to realize, but it's a really healthy thing to realize.

Quote of the Day: "God has a special providence for fools, drunks and the United States of America." Otto Von Bismarck.

Change of Seasons

I love that fall in the Pacific Northwest frequently means the beginning of a seriously Indian summer. I mean, it's supposed to be the end of summer tomorrow and the weatherpeople are predicting a week of sunny, summery weather.

Go figure.

School starts next week, for students at public universities in Oregon. It's going to be weird to not have any homework, or stops by the bookstore, or really anything that I need to be doing. I might even be getting my degree in the mail any day now, but I'm not exactly holding my breath for that one.

I'm definitely staying busy--there are some opportunities arising that I am attempting to get organized. I have my yearly review tomorrow with my boss, so keep your fingers crossed that it goes well. I think it will, but it will be extremely interesting to hear what she says about my promotion request.

I'm starting ski conditioning classes tonight, which are also going to be cyclocross preparedness classes. I competed at the Hood River Double Cross over the weekend, and while I didn't finish last, I wasn't far off. I just think that between cycling, cross-training, some Pilates classes and running, I should be in pretty awesome shape this winter for skiing, and especially for skiing in France. That's truly my biggest focus--I want to be able to do everything on that trip, so I need to be putting in the hours starting now.

I'm super-excited for San Fran this weekend. It's going to be sorority-riffic, what with tons of UO girls going to the wedding, and getting to stay with my sorority lil sis and her husband while we're down there. We might even get to go wine tasting! It's going to be a great weekend.

So yeah, not so much with the extra free time, but I'm already less tired than I was. I hate to admit that the doctor was right--I wasn't going to get any less tired until I was completely done with school.

Quote of the Day: "School's out for summer/school's out for ever/school's out com-plete-ly/No more pencils/no more books/no more teacher's dirty looks." School's Out, Alice Cooper.

I have an MBA.

Wow, looks pretty good up there, doesn't it? I finished my degree this week, which now means that when I fill out surveys and they ask what level of education I've completed, I can legitimately say "Master's or advanced degree." Or whatever language they prefer to use!

We presented to the company on Wednesday, and it went really well. I used two of my dad's "cheats" to help me with my notes--putting them into a 3-ring binder and using my finger to prevent me from totally losing my place when I looked up--and got raves for my performance. I feel like I've truly learned a lot from the whole experience. Aside from that, I got an A on the project, which also feels good.

I turned in my self-evaluation to my boss today, which was nerve-racking for a few reasons. She asked me today what my plans were now that I'm done with school. I told her, quite honestly, that I don't really see myself retiring from the company, but that I also plan to rest on my laurels for a bit. That said, I asked for a promotion in my evaluation.

In a down economy, and in a nonprofit that's seen a precipitous fall in donations.

Which is either incredibly ballsy, or really stupid. I'm going with ballsy, but with good reason. I am doing two people's jobs, which has happened to me before, in my previous job. However, I learned from that, and I want to get credit for it this time. I feel like I've earned the right to a promotion, because they certainly feel fine giving me more responsibilities. We'll see how it goes--obviously, this isn't a make-or-break issue in a crappy economy. I do still like eating.

Other than that, it's off to Hood River tonight for some well-deserved chilling with the friends and next weekend it's off to San Fran for some wedding shenanigans with college friends, which is going to be so, so much fun.

Quote of the Day: "This is our decision to live fast and die young/We've got the vision, now let's have some fun/Yeah it's overwhelming, but what else can we do/
Get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute?" Time to Pretend, MGMT.

The end of the affair...

I do suspect that my love affair with Kate Spade shoes is coming to an end. I'm wearing my wedding shoes today, which I love, but they are not so comfortable in the second part of the day.

They were fine this morning, which is starting to make me doubt that Ms. Spade designs shoes that can actually be worn for a full workday by a moderately active woman.

Hence, I think I will be taking my designer shoe dollars elsewhere for the time being. Perhaps to Fluevog next? Or maybe Frye.

Decisions, decisions! Not that I can afford anything for the next few months anyway, but it's fun to dream.

Starting to relax

While I fully intend to devote a good chunk of my weekend to my presentation and accompanying paper, I am pleased to be this close to being totally done with school. It's a nice, calming feeling, and I'm glad to be telling people that I am close, and that I do intend to job search and everything else.

Indie Rocker and I have been discussing our car situation, which means that we may even get around to selling one in the near future. That one may end up being mine, which isn't really the worst case scenario. I do wish that I could pin him down on that, though.

We've also started to talk about what we need to do with the house. We both know, and have known, that we want to do some major overhauling on the house as the current setup isn't ideal, in the slightest. So we're thinking that will probably be our biggest project in the coming few years. It should be interesting!

More than anything, I think we've both gotten to the point where we know that things are going to be changing, and we're getting used to the idea. All of the changes are good, of course, but change is always a little strange to contemplate at first.

I think being on the verge of being finished with school, coupled with it being nearly fall, and the constant weather change, has gotten me thinking about a bunch of things--getting back into shape, getting my act together professionally, getting my financial sh*t together, and generally improving my outlook. I think I've been so stressed out for so long that I'm having a hard time believing that I can actually relax in the very near future.

I like to joke that I don't know how to relax, but that's starting to not be so funny. I think that I need to figure it out sooner rather than later! Probably starting Saturday morning, as I fully intend to sleep in!

Quote of the Day: "You get the car/I'll get the night off/you'll get the chance to take the world apart and figure out how it works/don't let me know what you find out." Car, Built to Spill. They're opening for The Flaming Lips tonight and I'm stoked to see them. Yay!