I had quite the day of surfing today, so that was a nice change. I feel like I overschedule my life so badly sometimes that I forget how much fun it is to just get in a car, get to the coast, and throw myself into the ocean. The new board is utterly fantastic--I love that I can catch just about anything I try to and when I stop catching things, it's because I'm exhausted. All four of us were having fun today--Indie Rocker especially. That's a damn good feeling.
Other than that, work's been kicking my ass--I'm so busy and sometimes things are a little frustrating, but overall, I think that things are definitely on course to be better and that's a good feeling too.
Speedy's having a good time in Europe and still relies on her big sister when she needs to talk to someone familiar. I totally love that and hope it doesn't change anytime soon.
Isn't it strange that on a blog where I've pretty much been transparent about the way I feel and pretty open about confessions, that I still feel a little funny talking about the people closest to me. For whatever reason, I'm perfectly fine recapping a weekend, talking about a concert, whatever, but as soon as the layers start getting peeled back and I really have to examine relationships of any kind, I flinch. I think that's pretty normal, especially since I have an idea of who reads this pretty regularly, but I honestly don't have a clue if it's all people who know me personally or if someone just stumbled on this and finds me interesting for whatever reason.
So there's that.
I don't really know why I've been in a navel-gazing mood lately. Maybe it's that the exterior drama that used to swirl around me has largely settled into a dull roar. I mean, my friends are moving in together, buying houses, getting engaged, getting married, having babies...we're getting older and making more decisions about long-term life. And that's scary, but at the same time, we're more confident. I don't feel like I'm ruled by the past anymore--my decisions are definitely more influenced now by what I think is coming over the horizon, rather than by trying to define myself by the narrow parameters I'd already established. I'm thinking months down the line rather than just to next weekend. Which is both cool and really bizarre at the same time.
Quote of the Day: "Don't want to be/part of the problem." So Jealous, Tegan and Sara.