Communication Breakdown Burger with a side of neurosis, please!

It’s not that men and women don’t understand each other. If they are speaking the same oral language, it’s a fair bet that the actual words coming out of each mouth make sense to the ears that are listening. Sign language, same thing, different delivery and reception. So that point is moot. However, as taught in psychology classes the nation over, it’s all about coding and decoding to decide whether or not the sentences being spoken by one person make sense to the person receiving them.

Rest assured this is not a diatribe against men. Personally, I love them probably too much, but that point is also moot. My girlfriends and I continually joke that “Men, you can’t live with them and you can’t…well, live with them.”

However, there are several things I can live without. Guys, don’t do this stuff if you don’t want to make both the women in your life insane and their friends. Girls, don’t do this stuff unless you want to do the same to the men in your life. It’s a little weird and rough out there, but as long as we’re all speaking the same language, maybe we can muddle through. So take notes.

1. Don’t play games unless both parties know the rules.
In certain instances, it is often fun and recommended to play games. As long as both sides know all the rules and the rules don’t change. For instance, Eire and I have been playing dumbass little games since we met, but we both know the rules and it’s entertaining. Well, it will be until someone changes the rules, but until then it’s all fun and games.

2. Don’t cheat
This is actually multipronged, as it applies to the rule above and also to relationships in general. If you aren’t happy, leave. Don’t do this passive-aggressive, I’m not sure what I want schtick. It makes everyone miserable. Shit or get off the pot.
As applied to the rule above, don’t change the rules. If you do change the rules, certain guidelines for appropriate notification exist. Yes, I know the difference between guidelines and rules. I wrote the damned site, so lay off. Either way, if you are changing the rules, let the other player or players know the change. If you don’t, drama ensues and that sucks unless you are 12. If you are 12, how the hell did you find this site and do I know you?

3. Don’t lie.
I realize this is starting to sound a little preachy, but it seems pretty basic to me and an egregious amount of people just don’t get it. If you are currently in a relationship, don’t hedge with some cute new person to make it sound like you aren’t, because it will lead to breaking Guideline #2, which would suck.

4. Be decisive.
This sort of hearkens back to #2 again, as being passive-aggressive is about the most annoying thing ever. If you really, really can’t decide what to do, talk to your friends, get a consensus, go to counseling and stop doing your best impression of a human yo-yo.

5. Be straightforward.
I really only have two words for this one: Sneaker. Loser. Yeah, that sums it up.

Quote of the Day: This love has taken its toll on me/She said Goodbye too many times before/And her heart is breaking in front of me/I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore. This Love, Maroon 5