Monday, December 27, 2004

Sorry, Captain Obvious just woke up.

Woohoo! Whistler! Fun times! Icy-ass snow! Flaming drinks! Late night sledding!

Wow, aren’t you totally sucked in now? Whistler was actually a really good time. I poured more money into my car in the first two days than I had in months mostly because my tape deck up and died, so I finally sucked it up and bought an in-deck CD player. With removable face and sexy display. I love it. Anyway, I got up really ridiculously early on Saturday to get my oil changed, which is very helpful when going on a long trip. Once Beastie and Joy got to my place, we managed to get the car completely packed and ready to go in under 20 minutes and got on the road in one piece. I drove all the way to Bellingham, where we stopped at one of Beastie’s old haunts. There were two funny things about that stop. On the way there, he had been talking about the one friend he knew was still living in Bellingham and wondering if he should call him. We walked in the door of the Boundary Bay Brewing Company and walked right into said friend. Awesome. Also, once we were almost done with our meal, the guy at the table behind us had the misfortune to puke in his pint glass and on the table as well. Needless to say, we were in hysterics and retold the story all weekend. It loses a little in the transition to print, let me assure you. Imagine tendrils of droolpuke attached to a hand and pint glass and you get some of the idea. Ewww doesn’t even start to address it.

Beastie took over the driving from there and we headed for the border and the Vancouver airport, where we were picking up Sprite, who was coming in from her trip to New Zealand. She was delighted to see us and we ran a few errands in Vancouver before heading north to the mountains. The drive was uneventful (the best kind) and we got to Whistler and the condo in one piece. After loading all of our stuff onto the trolley and schlepping our gear to the locker, we were ready to go. Joy and I headed into the Village for drinks while Beastie and Sprite spent some quality time together. Once we got to the Village, we were disappointed to discover that the crew had headed home, since we were just warming up! Undeterred, we headed straight for the Dubh Linn Gate for Irish Car Bombs, as any good party girl worth her margarita salt must do. Beastie and Sprite joined us before too long and escorted us home on the bus.

Morning dawned bright and without my wallet, which was disappeared sometime in the night. Catastrophe. Joy and I drove down to the bus company on the suggestion of a cute Kiwi, and managed to score my wallet complete with cash and everything intact. Clearly, some good karma for me. We headed back to the condo, threw our gear on and headed out to the slopes. After procuring poles for me (OK, Mayday? Poles? Any day now!!) and tickets, we headed up the lift. Blackcomb was icy as all get out, making it difficult going for the both of us. About lunchtime we decided that burgers and beer sounded really good, so we headed to the Longhorn to eat. After being ignored for the better part of half an hour, we finally got to eat and became human again. After being battered by Blackcomb all morning, we decided to give Whistler Mountain a try. Well, it was icier and twice as windy. So we downloaded and headed home to discover that everyone else had already bailed and was hottubbing without us. So we showered, napped and chilled before heading over to the other condo for games, drinks and dinner. New game that rocks? Apples to Apples. I totally ruled this game and won. It was awesome. Dinner was delicious soup, salad, bread and some cheesecake that didn’t get eaten, I don’t think. Either way, it was soon time to bundle up and head for the bars. We started at Citta, my fave apres-ski bar, for beers. Joy saw some rugby players and before long, we were drinking with them. Our crew left to go dancing, but we stayed and had a few more drinks. I’m referring the rest of the night over to Joy, but suffice it to say that not even bribery could get me into the dance club, since it was clearly time for me to go home. Fortunately, Gatorade does a body good (even one that slept on the floor in Sprite and Beastie’s room. Yeah, not sure about that one), and I rallied in the morning to ski hard with everyone else. We hit Blackcomb all day and made tons of great runs including the Glacier, which had apparently just opened. The 6+ mile runout left a little to be desired, especially for Joy the lone snowboarder, but the day itself was loads of fun. Beastie is a kickass skier, as are Helmet and Type A. I had a great time. We got separated towards the end of the day, and I skied down with Beastie and Jack the Pumpkin King. My bases got a little banged up, but I survived. Apparently, Sprite had thought that we were meeting her at Merlins for apres (which I wish we had since we didn’t apres at all. Grr), so she was hanging out there, unbeknownst to us. Either way, we finally tracked her down and got to go hottubbing in the fabulous rooftop hot tub in the hotel next door. Love it.

Dinner was loads of enchiladas and we ate like kings. Brownies, nachos, and margaritas rounded out our menu. Afterwards, we headed for Merlins, because Sprite promised the bartender we would come see him. Apparently, he was the same bartender they had last trip, who fed them loads of flaming cocktails and helped them ring up a $350+ bartab. We swept in, grabbed a table and started talking with him as soon as we got there. Shortly thereafter there was a table covered in drinks, instructions, flame and much chugging. Beer appeared at our table and we rapidly became the life of the party. In between Korean Tom Cruises, Red Eyes, and Sunken Treasures, we enjoyed ski flicks on the big screens and laughing at each other.

After that, we decided to go dancing again, but had little luck as Garfinkel’s had one of the worst metal bands I’ve ever heard. It was like they’d been listening to Pantera and Metallica since they were 14 and had never given up the dream, despite repeated requests by friends and family alike. Ugh. So Joy, Jack and I hit the Beagle and danced up a storm until I literally collapsed from exhaustion.

We slept in a little the next day before hitting Blackcomb again and meeting up with the crew. Loads of runs, a late (but fabulous) lunch at the Crystal Hut, and much joking later, we decided we’d had quite enough fun and were ready to call it quits. I took my poles back, we hit the hot tub one last time, ate leftovers for dinner and put all the couples to bed. The singletons all headed out for sledding in our clothes, got soaked and got more drinks from Merlins. It was awesome. We were soaked, cold and laughing our asses off for an hour.

The drive back was a little hairy, as Sprite woke us at 6am to pack the car, go get coffee, and bust out of there. We had to get Jack to SeaTac for a 1:40 flight and Sprite back to Portland by 4. Needless to say, I have a good relationship with my gas pedal, but I’d had enough of driving by the time we got to Tacoma. And Joy is so fired from shotgun for falling asleep.

More to come later on Christmas, white elephants, Humphrey the Humping Dog, and bourbon sweet potatoes.

Quote of the Day: “They’ve got cars big as bars/they’ve got rivers of gold/but the wind blows right through you/it’s no place for the old/when he first took my hand on the cold Christmas Eve/you promised me Broadway was waiting for me/You were handsome/you were pretty/Queen of New York City/when the band finished playing they held out for more.” Fairytale of New York, The Pogues.

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